They say that Italian guests leave without saying goodbye, but Jewish guests say goodbye but then they don’t know how to leave.
Is hosting guests simply a nice social thing to do or perhaps is there something intrinsically special about hosting guests?
I was raised in a home that having guests was the normal thing to do. Many Shabbats at our Shabbat table, we had guests from the community and other local people who would join us to celebrate Shabbat. Likewise many a weekend, we would end up with business travelers or other travelers who were traveling through London and would call Chabad and ask them for a place to stay for Shabbat. Luckily for us, we were one of the families that hosted these traveling guests and got to meet so many interesting people from Israel, Europe, South America, the USA and more. I still remember many of these guests and some of the interesting conversations that we had which enriched our Shabbat table and experiences as we grew up.
In the Jewish lexicon, hosting guests is referred to as Hachnasat Orchim, which is referred too in many places as being something very special and honorable to do. In fact, it is from this week’s reading of the Torah portion, where we see this idea illustrated in a very powerful way. The Torah tells us that G-d appeared to Abraham as he was in pain and recovering from the circumcision, and as the visit by G-d is ongoing, three guests appear who are standing outside his tent and not entering. Abraham, tells G-d to please wait a second, and he proceeds to invite his guests in to his tent and offer them food and more.
The sages point out the powerful lesson in this story, in which Abraham seemingly pauses communicating with G-d to take care of his guests, and teach that from here we learn that one who welcomes guests into their home it is as important as welcoming in the Divine presence. However on a deeper level, this is not necessarily two separate actions, rather they are interconnected and perhaps one and the same, since welcoming G-d into our home, by extension means that we are going to create a welcoming home that will honor G-d’s creations in this world.
The famous commentary the Shelah states an additional point, that in hosting guests we are emulating G-d, since G-d is our host on a daily basis as G-d takes care of our needs and looks after us, likewise when we host guests in our home and look after them, we are emulating G-d. Similarly in Chassidic teachings there are an abundance of stories that highlight the uniqueness of the Mitzvah of hosting guests and how beautiful, important and central it is to a Jewish home.
Lastly, next weekend thousands of Chabad Rabbis, family members, and guests will converge on the neighborhood of Crown Heights in Brooklyn, where nearly every home in the neighborhood will be hosting two, three or ten guests in their guestrooms, basements and other rooms. Shabbat tables will be mobbed by thousands and thousands of more guests than a typical Shabbat and the streets and synagogues will be packed beyond imagination. I take my hat off (the black one) out of respect to the people of Crown Heights, who throughout the year, host thousands and thousands of people for all kinds of special weekends, retreats and holidays. In the past I have stayed with my brother or at friends’ houses, who literally move their kids out their bedrooms who do so happily and gladly, so that they too can be a host and do this special Mitzvah of Hachnasat Orchim.
So while some guests say good bye but don’t know how to leave, in truth every guest who enters our home enriches it spiritually and helps our home reflect a higher and more inclusive and welcoming attitude to others around us.
Shabbat Shalom
Yisroel