Growing up in London, in addition to my own parents and grandparents, I had no shortage of role models to learn from in the community where I was raised. Among them was a man named Mr. Bentzion Shagalow who not only exemplified values that are dear to me until this day, but he was also very close to my parents and family.
Mr. Shagalow came from Moscow, Russia and had seen and experienced the harsh and cruel persecution of Chassidic Jews under the communist regime. His own father who was known as the “Mohel” (circumciser) of Moscow used to risk his life every day to perform the Mitzvah of Circumcision for families that wanted to take the risk of performing a Mitzva that has been part of our heritage for thousands of years. One day his father didn’t come back from a circumcision and disappeared never to be seen again. Only dozens of years later, when I was a child, were they finally informed the details of when he had been shot and killed by the Russian authorities.
Mr Shagalow was extremely close to my parents and family and to this day I can remember getting up at 5am on the morning before Yom Kippur to attend his house and prepare for Yom Kippur. I can still smell the tea and taste his wife’s honey cake as I think back to those moments. I remember the stories and moments that accompanied us, as we prepared for one of the most powerful days of the year in the early hours before daybreak.
Each Shabbos as we prayed in the Synagogue, Mr Shagalow would give treats to my brothers and myself if we prayed nicely and didn’t fight (too much). I cannot say that it always worked but I definitely remember sitting for hundreds of Shabbat's and praying next to him.
Last year while on a visit to Israel, together with my two brothers we paid a visit to Mr. Shagalow who was now living in Jerusalem. It was a special moment for us as we stood there together and shared memories of our childhood and for him too as he talked to us about our lives and our families and how we have all grown up.
In a certain sense, Mr Shagalow and his wife were spiritual mentors to my parents, and we their children were a continuation of the relationship that had blossomed so many years earlier.
This morning in Jerusalem, at the age of 92, Mr Shagalow passed away while surrounded by his children and grandchildren. When we heard the news, we were all deeply saddened and felt not only his loss but also the loss of a piece of our childhood.
In this week’s Torah portion of Emor, the commentary Rashi explains in the beginning of the portion the importance and responsibility of elders to teach the younger generations. In Chassidic thought it is pointed out that Rashi uses the word “LeHazhir”, which literally means to warn and instruct, but it can also mean “to shine”. This means, that the ultimate way for elders and adults to teach and educate the young, is through shining and serving as true living role models. Being a living example of right and wrong is really the ultimate method of conveying ideas and morals.
We all know this rule with our children, and to a large degree, they learn more by what they see us do than what they hear us say.
The message of this week’s portion is to be mindful of that and always remember that the best method of teaching our children the importance of right and wrong, is by example.
As I think about Mr. Bentzion Shagalow of Blessed Memory who passed away this morning, I think of his dozens of family members whom he leaves behind in this world, who are all a continuation and a testimony to how he lived. At the same time, I also think about the many people that he influenced and inspired throughout his life just by being who he was and trying to live up to the Jewish values and the Chassidic lifestyle that he held so dearly, just like the teaching in this week’s Torah portion.
Yehi Zichro Baruch / May his Memory be an inspiration and a blessing!