How often do you cry?
Did you shed tears since Oct 7th?
How many tears I have only seen and heard over the last few months.... and not all of the tears were the tears of others....
Painful situations, cause us grief and bring emotions that can overwhelm us, and we cry in pain and in grief. Sometimes, it is the opposite and it is joy that causes us to cry as we shed tears of joy from an uplifting and powerful moment.
I remember when we told our four oldest children that they were going to have a new sibling, and some of them cried tears of joy, as their faces filled with joy, yet their eyes welled up with tears, as they celebrated that special moment.
Indeed in the line of my work, I see and hear tears and the pain of people expressing some of their deepest sentiments, concerns and pain.
Sometimes the current pain of the daily news coming out of Israel, and seeing the terrible toll among the young and beautiful soldiers who have put everything aside in order to end terror and save the hostages, and seeing the terrible pain of war as it continues to unfold each day, is overwhelming and clouds up so much of what we are feeling.
Yet, despite the pain, what should be the driving sentiment and attitude which we seek to live by?
A couple of days ago, I reached out to a Commander of an IDF Unit (who people in our community had helped with coats and some basic equipment) who is on the Northern Border and dealing with daily attacks on the Kibbutzim and Villages of Northern Israel.
This commander is a reservist who has now spent nearly 80 days away from his wife and children and work, and has a unit of soldiers who are all doing the same thing. Instead of hearing complaining and sad talk, I heard motivation, determination, and joy, and an attitude that no matter the challenge, they are determined and positively confident, that will accomplish what they need to.
It was a reminder to me of the idea, that soldiers don't win battles when they are down and sad, it is through being uplifted, positive, and believing in their mission, that they stay focused and overcome the challenges.
Similarly, I saw a video clip of a moving event that was remembering a young man who was killed in the fighting. At one point the room full of people were singing a song of hope, but very despondently and with many looking very sad. The mother of the young man who had been killed, stopped the music, and said "This is no way to accomplish what we need to and to pray for better times. Instead, we need to be joyful and happy and confident that we will make this happen together, and this is the way, we will storm the heavens to bring this change".
Indeed it doesn't matter if you are on the front lines, rear lines, living in America or anywhere else, we cannot let the pain and tears, cloud and shape everything. Instead we must continue to focus on celebrating what we have, the gift of purpose that we seek to live by, our love of life and goodness and kindness, the knowledge that we will once again overcome all the challenges, and yes live life with Jewish positivity.
The many antisemites hope to intimidate us, to make us scared, to make us unnerved and scared to show our faces and celebrate our Judaism in public. The pain, tears and feeling bad for ourselves, won't change that, instead it is our determination to live our Judaism and Jewish values with joy and confidence, that will make us stronger, and help us to continue to bring a different dynamic to the world.
Tomorrow we read about Joseph and his struggles in Egypt and how he reunited with his siblings and then his father. Indeed Joseph cries on multiple occasions in this story, when he meets his brothers but hasn't revealed himself to them, when he reveals himself to them, when he meets Benjamin and of course when he sees his father for the first time in twenty two years. Crying is mentioned by Joseph perhaps more than any of other famous biblical figures.
Yet there is a striking dynamic, despite being separated from his family for twenty two years, sold by his own brothers into slavery, suffering in slavery and then suffering in prison, not once is it mentioned that he cried. Instead he is focused on what needs to get done, remembering that G-d would give him the strength to overcome and thrive, and he continuously finds a way to succeed and make a difference to others, no matter the circumstances.
It is only at the end of this long ordeal, when he is finally reunited with his family, when he lets himself cry, and cry he does..... He was certainly an emotional person, yet during the time of challenges, the crying didn't shape him, it was his determination to succeed that spurred him to do well and overcome every obstacle that came his way.
Perhaps this idea is stated by the Zohar "חדוה תקיעא בלבאי מסטרא דא, ובכיה תקיעא בלבאי מסטרא דא" (זהר ג, עה, א, תניא לד) where it states "that one can have joy stuck in one side of the heart, and at the same time one can have crying stuck in the other side of the heart".
We are not ignoring the pain and the concerns, we are aware of it and saddened by it, but we are also cognizant of our focus and armed with the knowledge, that to win and overcome a challenge, we need to be fully loaded with joy and confidence in our mission and purpose in this world.
G-d willing we will succeed and reach a day, when as the Prophets say "G-d will erase our tears".
Am Yisroel Chai!!
Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos
Yisroel