"If it isn't challenging, you won't change" reads a poster in my daughter's school that caught my attention.
It is an important idea that is relevant to all our children as they start another academic year, and one that is easily overlooked, as we sometimes seek to make life as smooth as possible for our children.
Helping children understand, that challenges and difficulties aren't always something to run away from, but instead are opportunities for growth, is something that takes effort and diligence to convey.
Truth to be told, we don't stop growing and developing once we leave school. Instead, life is a continuous cycle of learning, growth and development that continues throughout our adulthood.
Several years ago, I was in a hotel in Israel for a Shabbat for a family celebration. Before the services a well known Rabbi in Chabad, Rabbi Nissan Mangel, came to join us for the services. I noticed how he took out a small booklet which is called "Kuntres Hoavodah" and began to study its pages before we began the prayers.
This particular booklet, talks about the need to always work on oneself, so that we uplift ourselves and learn to be altruistic, selfless and growth oriented. It talks about the nitty gritty stuff of life and how one can always work on improving oneself.
I found myself fascinated as I watched Rabbi Mangel with a Talis prayer shawl on his head, deeply engrossed in the study of this book. The reason for my fascination was that Rabbi Mangel is a very respected Rabbi, Educator, Author and Lecturer who has led a life of fulfillment and has impacted countless people in a positive way, despite going through hell during the Holocaust and being an experiment of the Nazi Dr. Mengele in the Auschwitz Concentration Camp.
Yet here he was, plumbing away and reflecting on the important and deep messages of this book, that called for personal change and improvement.
What I learned from that encounter reinforced this important idea, that working on oneself is something that never ends, and is truly something that is a lifelong endeavor.
Indeed, this message is one that Moses shares with the Jewish people in the portion we read tomorrow, as Moses who is just days away from his passing, delivers some of the most important messages of his life to the generation that was about to enter the land of Israel. He doesn't mince words as he describes the potential for challenges and failures and reminds them of the important concept of Shared Responsibility. Yet he concludes with a very important message when he states that, "this which I ask you to do today and living this life of meaning and values, is not something that is in the heaven or across the sea, rather it is something that is within reach of our heart, mouth and actions".
Moses is telling them in plain English, that struggles, adversity and growth, are not something that is only for young children in school, rather it is an intrinsic part of the destiny of man. By realizing this and embracing this, we can constantly improve, and in the process brighten and impact, the world around us.
Judaism can be demanding at times, it takes discipline and commitment, it requires time and expenses, and at times it comes with challenges and hardships. Yet, it is a responsibility that is a gift, as through trying our best even when it is not so easy, we change, and when we change, the world around us also changes for the good in ways we don’t always imagine.
Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos
Yisroel